Last night, I was handed a can of peas and a knife and told to open it. Considering the knife was about the quality of what you would find in a 40 piece kitchen set for $30 from Wal-mart, I wasn`t quite sure how to go about this as my life thus far has always been blessed enough to have can openers in it. I tapped the top and tried to open it like a bottle without any results as one of the girls watched with a look of "what are you doing?" on her face. She then just said "no", took the can, jammed the knife in the top, twisted it, and viola it was open even if it did resemble the San Andreas fault.
There have been many instances such as this when I was not quite sure what to do or simply just did the "wrong" thing because it was what i knew to do. Another time in the kitchen, after washing some letttuce I began to hand tear it for a salad as I`ve done most of my life and seen everyone around me do. The girl I was cooking with exclaimed "what are you doing?" Then wathced incredioulsy as i continued. In the end she was won over by my impressive lettuce tearing skills and decided that it was faster then chopping.
Most of my mishaps happen because either I don`t understand or I don`t know the right words. For example, I decided that, since I am apparently living in the part of town where they film Agentine Cops In Action, it might be a good idea to buy some pepper spray. As Argentina lacks in CVS type stores where you can find anything, I wasn`t sure what store to go to. First I tried a hardware store. As I approached the counter I realized I didn´t know the word for pepper spray. So instead I asked for "perfume of pepper...for security". Amused though seeming to understand what I meant, he sent me to the shampoo, soap, and all things liquidy clean in plastic bottles store. Here, I was taken to the actual perfume section which lacked anything in a pepper scent. After this I was at a loss of where to go and have yet to buy any though I was told to try a gun store.
Taxi rides are always a little frightening when I`m alone though the safest option at night. First because obviously I am American and urban legends (though I believe mostly originating in Colombia) of foreigners taken by taxi drivers and left inthe middle of nowhere with nothing but maybe their clothes are constantly in the back of my head. Secondly, I don`t know the names of any streets but a few (I do not believe a map of Moreno exists though I did finally find it on google earth). Once at night, I was heading back to the home and actually knew the way until the driver seemingly missed a turn. After my stomach dropped, I said "no where are you going?" and got ready to jump out of the moving car. Luckily he had just thought I was going to a different orphange (of which yes there are many) and quickly corrected his mistake.
The pool has also provided ample opportunities to misunderstand. First, you must make sure you go to the women`s and not the girls locker room. Then before entering you must shower with shampoo and soap of which i was reminded of because he specifically handed me a flyer stressing htis point. Then you must use sandals to access the pool. Once in the pool, I had to figure out which lane was free. There are also alot of classes and it`s never really very clear which is for free swim. One day after practicing with some 12 year olds for bit, I decided to ask when the best time to come was as the schedule I had been given seemed to always be very full. I had understood that free swim was only available at the times the guy had scribbled on my sheet of paper. Apparently these were the times when, while free swim is allowed, the pool is most crowded with classes. So I had been coming at pretty much the worst time when I thought I had been coming at the best. I corrected this error and ended up going and being the only person in the pool instead.
I also mix up words every now and then. For example, the other day when trying to open a locked gate I stood there and said "why is the door open?" while trying to pull it. I also told a little girl I had made her bread with little shoes on it for breakfast. I had meant to say bread with jam. I constantly mix up gender agreements and the other day kept referring to a little boy using feminine adjectives (though to be honest at first i though he was a girl due to long curly hair). I have definitely mixed up subject verb agreement and said things like "Your husband you work?" when i was trying to ask someone what ther husband does.
I`m sure it`s hard for the girls to take me seriously when I am saying things like "It is the hour. Now arrange yourself for bed with your pajamas and to sleep in the bed!" I also made my first attempt at explaining an interesting fact about honey i had learned the other day. I think litterally translated it went something like this, "You know honey? It`s good for your health. You know? Because in the honey is the dust in the air from the trees (i meant pollen which turns out is the same word). And you eat the honey and construsting a resistance to it. But you need honey from where you are. where you live." Anyways everyone seemed to understand, was interested, and I felt very proud that i had spoken more then 15 words in a row.
So my mishaps are providing me with ample comic relief and keeping things intersting even if I talk like a child or do things that seem out of place.
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