How to Pretend to Speak Spanish

My spanish classes are going well. I have a group lesson in the morning and a private lesson in the afternoon, after which my brain and my mouth are very tired. I think you use different mouth muscles when speaking a different language. So I am getting lots of verb practice but more important I have learned a few survival tips for those of you who don´t speak spanish.

1. learn some key phrases: esta bien (it´s ok or it´s fine), no se (i don´t know), no hay problemas(there is no problem), donde esta el bano (where is the bathroom) and agua por favor ( water please) are five phrases that can handle probably 70% of the situations you might find yourself in, assuming you are generally agreeable and flexible person.

2. Just add a "o": you would be amazed at how many times you can just add and o or a to a word and viola you have the spanish equivilant. for exampple: content= contento, clima=climate, etc. sometimes you just have to pronounce the english word with an accent like with bandages.

3. lie: if you are asked a questions and you don´t know the right words to answer correctly then just use the words you do know and answer wheter whatever you are saying is true or not. just make you know the words to answers more questions.

4. Deceptive Smile: master the art of a smile that could mean anything. this way you can just smile whenever anyone says something to you and you don´t even need to say a response. sure you might seem a bit mysterious but you can blame it on being a foreigner.

5. Use your hands: just like the song from the little mermaid, body language can say alot. don´t be afraid to gesture wildly while you are talking. It will probably help other understnad what you are trying to say and will also distract them from any grammar mishaps.

6. Go out to Eat: having food or drinks near by can provide a great delay techinque to give you time to figure out what you want to say. simply take a bite or a sip (which you can make big or small depending on how much time you need), think about what you want to say, and then when ready speak. However, this is not as useful in fast moving discussions as you will usually lose your chance to make your point. But it´s great with one or two other people.

7. Blame it on your hearing: tired of constantly asking people to repeat what they said? well just blame it on your hearing so they can say it again.

8. Answer the question you think you were asked: a common political communication technique is to answer the question you wish you had been asked. why not apply this to foreign languages? If you have a strong vocabulary about sports then talk about sports alot. Don´t know any words about government? well just avoid that topic. Sure people may think you a bit obsessed with one or two topics but at least you seem to have some passion.

9. Act the part: Usually if you look like you are understanding what people are saing then they will think you do. So just pretend with lots of head nodding. If the rest of the group laughs then laugh with them. But don´t laugh to strongly cause you may not know what they are laughing about and might make a fool of yourself.

10.Take a break: if you find yourself really lost in a conversation just excuse yourself and take some time to regroup. You can also use this time to plan out some things you could say or ask others. It´s always better to ask a question then to have to answer.

Good luck!!